stream starts at !
".... I'm so goddamn spiteful...." [stream start]
"I might have fucked up, this might be a rage game"
"I can walk... how do I walk?" [falls] "Oh no, it's QWOP"
the first obstacle (literally): a box
"I can't believe I tricked myself into playing QWOP"
Up on the box... and backward [not-so-daipan]
"I should have woken up late"
at the box... and backwards again
Jojo posing, daipan, suddenly turkey noises
attempting to motivate the thief with promises of maidens
downward thief
the box is defeated, ez game
now for the lasers... actually easy game
now for the stairs, the greatest opponent
"I have an idea... and that is to do the same thing"
standing up? sitting down? wholly new inventions of movement tech
brute forcing the stairs using the outboard motor shoulder and rapid concussions
peak stair climbing performance
now face the Ledge™
"I can't go back downstairs, I know what life is like on the edge!"
Desperation is setting in "I've been a good boy!"
prayge to the ledge
"I'm fueled by pure spite, it's more powerful than caffeine"
turkey selen returns as she falls off the ledge, ver3 expressions real
"Do it for the Vine, Selen! You can bring back Vine!"
from elvis to proposing to the ledge
I love Selen's laughs!
panic save using leg leverage
so very close, so close she can almost taste the diamond
diamond secured! "wait... no..." (now to go back)
Lasers part 2 "I forgot about the box!"
smooth as butter, planned from the beginning... box time
"I don't remember how I got over the box!" [she fails to get over again, daipan]
Box overcome "I can see the promised land!"
"Not even 100 minutes. Easiest game of my life!" ver3 expression real
"Fucking quit game" [over to chatting screen] "This is why I don't play rage games"
Now watch the World Record of 18 seconds
"Wait I can do that" Here we go again
"I will hold the world record for Nijisanji" [flails backwards off the stairs]
[shocked] "don't do this to me!" [shocked, goes back] "we got this" [shocked again]
[double shocked] "Last try"
the box foils her once again... then the lasers... again
"peak optimal" speedrun strats, as she falls backward again
[shocked, quits] "Here. Just watch the speedrun and pretend it's me"
"I blame whoever told me about the WR" Superchat readings
"Has any other Niji played this? I didn't ask permissions!"
will be an hour late to the Valo collab (because of a meeting)
